The Commotion in My Head

To be or not to be?

2010-06-15T06:47:00.001-07:00

So after a six month hiatus, I'm not sure whether to shut down or continue this blog. It's been a long and interesting six months. I have truly struggled with our infertility and I have drawn in in many ways not talking about it with anyone really, besides my husband and my therapist, and with the very few friends who have actually asked how i'm doing. Is it possible to feel trapped in your own grief? Because I do.

Regardless, I haven't decided if blogging about it will help me or not. I feel like my life is standing still at this moment, and I haven't reached whatever inspiration it is that I need to move forward. I have bought books, I have continued therapy, I have tried new eating regimens and workout regimens and things remain the same, at least emotionally.

We're headed out of town this weekend with great old friends and next week for 10 days to visit my in-laws and for Chris and i to get a few days away alone. I really hope to gain some perspective.

Just for Krissie...

2010-01-11T16:55:00.000-08:00

I was a busy bee this weekend. I made a bunch of great meals for the week. And just for my friend Krissie, i'm posting some pics! The only thing missing is the awesome turkey meatloaf, roasted potatoes and spinach I made last night for dinner. Between dinner last night and lunch today it all got devoured (Chris LOVED it).

Black bean lasagna. YUMMM.

Spinach, turkey sausage and orzo soup. It tastes just as amazing as it sounds.

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Grilled chicken enchiladas. A staple in our house, and the photo is blurry and doesn't look like it but I was able to lighten this one up without the sour cream and about half the cheese I normally use.

Muffins. The four to the left are vegan banana chocolate chip. The ones on the right are Krissie's morning muffins with carrots, banana, oats and golden raisins. They are divine - both sets. Lots of these went in the freezer for future use!

GOAL: Week of January 10

2010-01-11T16:10:00.000-08:00

This week's goal is going to be a real challenge. My goal is to burn 3200 calories or more with exercise. I started Saturday and end Friday. I have a full week with working late tonight, having to work a bit early tomorrow before going to a 9-5 offsite training (thus no opportunity for getting to the gym early) and a funeral to attend tomorrow night. Wednesday is going to be hard as well, with family plans I've had for awhile. I will be going to the gym within the hour tonight to hopefully burn about 800 calories, but so far I've burned 1007 calories. Here's to the other 2200!

I smashed last week's goal of doing something nice for Chris every day. This isn't always as easy it sounds when just starting out a diet. It's a time (for me) of being very selfish with my time, and I wanted to make sure Chris got some extra attention and love. He makes sure I get plenty of that every day, and he never EVER is selfish toward anyone. It was a great way to get things off to a good start!

Staying Positive

2010-01-08T07:50:00.000-08:00

I hopped on the scale this morning, really excited to weigh myself after a week of good eating. My only real splurge for the week was going out to the Indian Buffet yesterday, and I think I made pretty good choices. I had half a piece of Naan, which is no small feat. I chose a bit of Aloo Paneer and a chick pea/tomato sauce item with some rice. I probably had a full cup of rice. It wasn't awful. I also had a Christmas cookie mid week. I counted both of these things.

It's frustrating to work out like I did, and eat well and NOT eat out, and find that you've only lost 1 pound. One stinking pound. It's a loss, I know that, but my first reaction was to throw in the towel and ask myself why I am doing this.

Then I remembered how great I've felt all week. How much stronger I feel already. And I sat down and looked at my food tracker and identified some other areas where I could have made better choices, and resolved that next week's goal will be to do at least 4 workouts that burn 800 calories or more, instead of 400. Then I decided to do something nice for myself. I watched a video on creating the "smoky eye" with makeup and proceeded to apply the technique and give myself some extra time to get ready and feel good about myself today, celebrating the loss I had! I was pretty happy with the results!

An image taken on the camera of my laptop, sitting at my desk at work.

Here's to a great week two!

Rest does wonders!

2010-01-06T03:38:00.001-08:00

I've been battling a head cold/sinus infection since New Year's Eve. Yesterday was definitely the day that I felt the worst I have felt through it all.

I have done SO well with food choices, with working out, and with just generally keeping myself active - and proactive. Not sitting on the couch or the computer doing nothing. I come home and prepare our meal, think about what we'll eat the next day, get both lunches packed and dinner ready as it can be, set the coffee timer and do the dishes. And i've been rocking my workouts.

But last night, I decided what I really needed more than anything was sleep. I worked late and didn't get home until close to 7pm. We had dinner and cleaned up and I was exhausted. I hadn't had a good night's sleep. I was coughing a LOT, and it kept me up. So I skipped the workout. I spent a little time reading (in bed), and then some time catching up with Chris on the day's events. And I was asleep at 9:15. And it was glorious. I needed it so much. I feel world's better this morning. And i'm not feeling guilty. I stayed within my calorie range and made good food choices all day. Hooray.

I am looking forward to returning to the gym tonight though. And putting in a bit of extra effort in case tomorrow morning's workout doesn't happen. A snow storm's coming our way in the morning. But plans can change for tomorrow night! And I must say - it feels darn good to be back on track, eating right and exercising.

Even though i'm sick, i've been feeling so much better than I have in months. And I need to keep telling myself this every day. Every time there's chocolate in the office, or a pizza lunch at work, or happy hour with greasy food. I don't really want that stuff. It makes me feel awful afterwards, and guilty to boot.

GOAL: Week of January 3

2010-01-04T09:53:00.000-08:00

This week my goal is to finish reading my first book of the year, A Thousand Splendid Suns, and to do something extra nice for my husband every day this week. I'll be sure to report back in on this next week. :)

LIES...and 2010 Goals

2010-01-03T05:36:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted anything in quite awhile. Because I feel like a liar. I got on my high horse about all the hard work I was going to do and about my new herbal teas, and I failed miserably after just a few days and gave up. So now I'm back, and with several days under my belt of doing all the things I said I would do, I'm here to share my resolutions for the year, all of which revolve on the theme of making more time for myself, which I've never been very good at, and ultimately to lose weight:

1. Make weekly meal plans and stick to them
2. Workout 6 days a week (Friday is set as my day off), and schedule this weekly on the calendar.
3. Eat out less. 1-2 times per week max. This is much better than the 5-6 I have been doing.
4. Track all of my food intake on a spreadsheet. Aim to stay below 1200 calories/day, and for workouts to burn at least 400 calories each (I realize this is modest, but it's a start).
5. Save money and pay off looming debt. My goal is to have my credit cards paid off by the end of this year. It's doable. Then we can officially focus on saving money for the adoption fees that are about twice what I expected them to be! (goals 1 and 2 will directly help this goal move along)
6. Incorporate more fun in my life, and concentrate spending free time with people who build me up, not bring me down. In other words - people with good energy who are fun to be around. (Chris and I have already signed up for a ballroom dancing class starting later this month - I can't wait!).
7. Read more. I am ashamed to say I read 2 books (and lots of magazines) in 2009. This year, I am going to change that. I'm already 2/3rds of the way through my first book of the year (which I started on Saturday). I am dedicating at least 30 mins every day to read. A book, a magazine, the newspaper, whatever. My goal is to finish 6 books this year, along with my magazine and newspaper subscriptions.
8. Make a weekly goal aside from these to help aid in these goals, and post them weekly here each Monday on my blog.

Any big resolutions for anyone else? I'm not sure if it's the excitement of one hellish year being over with, but I am SUPER motivated on these this year. I think it's going to be a really really great year!

Holiday Slump

2009-12-14T14:49:00.001-08:00

It's been a funny holiday season in our house. I've really been in the holiday spirit, moreso than years past, but not so much in the spirit to concentrate on myself, as my plans included in my last blog posting. I have lost a few pounds in the last month or two, but not because of a healthy plan for living - because I haven't been snacking, and most weekends i'm only eating one meal a day. I'm thinking about food far less as my mind is consumed with other things these days.

The more I think about it, it makes sense to me why I don't want to devote that time and energy. I am keeping myself busy, but I am doing anything I can to avoid really thinking about what's been going on in my life for the last year. When I have the down time, I get really down. I've been keeping myself busy with Christmas baking, holiday cards, gift wrapping and decorating.

Now I can say my baking is nearing an end (only 4 more batches to make - I should have them done by the weekend), my Christmas cards are out, my house is decorated and my shopping is done (most of the wrapping is done, too!). Yesterday it all hit me like a ton of bricks as I took the evening off to relax and found myself lounging on the couch with some sappy movies and a box of tissues.

As I approach the New Year, i'm preparing for reality to hit. I'm working on a household budget, and trying really hard to talk myself into a healthy diet an exercise plan that I can settle into. I've started a list of creative projects for myself, including an Etsy shop to sell some of these projects (I am thinking birthday, birth announcements, wedding and baby shower and thank you cards, mostly). I'm trying to carve out some time to market myself as a freelance designer as well. I think keeping busy is going to be the key to staying on track.

Not exactly a New Year's resolution yet, but I'm getting there. What are you working towards this Holiday season?

The Herbal Option

2009-11-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

For several weeks I've been moping. I haven't been going to the gym regularly. I've been eating out far too often, and though I am certainly not overeating, I have not been making good food choices. Not nearly enough vegetables, far too much sugar and carbohydrates in general, and fried foods galore.

Today I talked myself into stopping all of that and putting my best foot forward again. I met with my herbalist today. We've been working together for several months, but because she had major surgery and major recovery that followed, I just got my teas today. I'm really excited about it. She concocted a loose tea blend just for me. It's called "Nikki's Tea." :) The herbs and roots in it were combined to help me in three areas that we identified to help my body: Weight loss, mood enhancement and digestion. My first batch of tea is steeping now, and since it contains various roots, it's supposed to steep overnight. I can't wait to try it in the morning. 1-2 cups per day.

Along with it, she gave me a list of recommendations for eating and supplements to keep up. I took a trip to whole foods and stocked up on organic foods for the week. I spent a good portion of the day cooking in preparation of packing my lunch at least 4 times this week, and being prepared to cook meals that will be easy to make after work. I went to the gym and hit the arc trainer for an hour tonight. And it felt fantastic to be there and to be back. I've even turned down two invites for things to do this week knowing that it's not about what I want to look like or what size I want to wear, but that my body needs me to do what's right and get my own care in check.

I don't expect these teas to work miracles. But I do expect to see some small improvements in my energy level, my cravings, and hopefully my digestive problems. I have promised myself that it's okay to slip up sometimes, or skip a day at the gym if my heels are bothering me (which i am certain is because of excess weight, and why I had to stop my running training), but I have to get right back on the path afterwards. Not the next day, but the next moment.

I think I make it too hard for myself sometimes, and if I focus less on how food makes me feel and more about what it does for me, I should be able to maintain this focus.

My Guiltiest Pleasures

2009-11-09T15:16:00.000-08:00

I figured i'd start a little meme up here with some of my guilty pleasures. Things I don't normally admit too much to. Just for fun. Here goes:

1. 90210 (the original, and preferrably the high school years). It's on SoapNet nightly, and I watch it far too often!
2. Justin Timberlake. For real. Love him. And I'm such a music snob otherwise.
3. Crocs. I'll admit it, they're ugly as sin. But they are comfortable and I wear them around the house and the neighborhood all the time. But I will often deny their existence to my designer friends. :)
4. Michelina's Lean Gourmet Buffalo Chicken Rolls. I know they're packed full of preservatives and even though they say they're low fat, they're not good for me in any way. But once in awhile, they sure do curb that craving for buffalo wings instead of fatty greasy wings!
5. Target. Yes, I'm all about supporting local businesses, buying green products, whole foods and sustainable items. But a girl can't find plus size organic cotton/hemp/whatever clothing in boutique shops, unfortunately. I've always had a secret love for Target. It didn't always used to be so secret. But I definitely only make about 3 trips yearly, as opposed to the weekly trips I made previously.

What are your five guiltiest pleasures? Share them here or post them to your blog!

A Letter to My Family and Friends

2009-11-04T17:50:00.000-08:00

Dear Family and Friends:

If I've worked up the nerve in the last several months and specifically in the last week to talk to you and confide in you about the news that we cannot have children, I have one simple request for you. While I know you're trying your best to be supportive, show concern, and be sensitive to a situation that more than likely causes you to be uncomfortable, please do us one favor: do not let the first question out of your mouth be "have you thought about adoption?"

The answer is, yes, we've thought about it. But the point is that when you ask that question you completely dismiss our feelings on the matter, and the fact that we are mourning a loss in our lives. Adoption is not easy. It's not an easy decision emotionally, financially or physically. And even though we want to proceed with the process, it requires a LOT of thought and decision making. Simply telling us you love us, you're keeping us in your thoughts, and making us laugh is what we need most.

Love,
Nikki

A Return to Blogging?

2009-10-18T16:07:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about whether to blog or not to blog for quite awhile. I felt like blogging was bringing me down in some ways before, and in other ways, a form of therapy. I have spent far too much time in my life dwelling on my own imperfections, and what I tend to blog about is how badly I want to lose weight, be healthier and (of late) have children. Granted, it was a rough summer emotionally. With the news of our fertility challenges back in June, I've found myself battling depression for several months. I tried so hard to hide it. For several weeks, I hibernated. Not alot of people know still what we've been presented with. My neighbor even asked me late in July if I was mad about something because it had been so long since she'd seen or heard from me. I sat in my house a LOT this summer, waiting and hoping to be reached out TO by my friends and loved ones and concentrating my relationship to my husband and to just a few friends who I knew wouldn't remind me of babies or pregnancy or anything of the sort. I avoided my friends who were pregnant or have just had babies because it just hurt too much. I know that it's really not fair to them, but I sure hope they understand - especially the ones who know. And I think they do. I realize I can't avoid it forever, but there were days when I just couldn't get out of bed. Yesterday, we got the final word that pregnancy the "old fashioned" way is not a possibility for us, and I'm really trying hard to not let it get me as down as it did earlier in the summer. I have alot to focus on for the upcoming weekend, so we'll see how I do when all of the excitement passes...
I've come to terms with alot of it now. I am actually seeing a therapist for the first time this week to talk about it. I'm seeing an herbalist to help me with natural mood enhancers. I resigned from my board position for my professional organization this month to dedicate a chunk of time concentrating on me. Something I really haven't done in a number of years!

That said, not all of the summer was bad. I had an amazing camping trip with old friends that really helped me forget everything going on in my life. It's amazing how you can reunite with a group of people and suddenly be transported back to worry-free days when you saw them often. Except we're all grown up and responsible now. So a weekend of drinking and live music is just a fantastic way to reminisce about those carefree days and get away from life.

Two ladies I adore and got to spend a fabulous weekend with. One of whom I have spent far too little keeping up with this summer.

Chris and I also took a fantastic vacation to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. We went to San Francisco and wine country for a week. It was one of the best vacations of my life, and I was truly able to put all of my worries aside for 11 whole days while we were there and the few days afterwards that we had together at home. I expected to love it out there - all the great foods, the big city, the cultural offerings and the character of San Francisco - but I sure didn't expect it to be as beautiful as it was! Everywhere we went!

One of my favorite photos from our vacation/5th wedding anniversary trip. We LOVED San Francisco!

For our anniversary, we had some "family" photos taken. Yes, we are those people who take photos with the dog. But we just adore this little critter, and our photographers did such a fantastic job of capturing us.

Family photo taken on our wedding anniversary, September 4, 2009.

So while we've had our ups and downs, I'm focusing really hard on myself, and I plan to share some of that here, as well as things that keep me going. I hope not to focus solely on the lack of children in our home, or the number on the scale, or the money we need to save for some of the big decisions we have ahead in terms of pursuing having a child in our lives, but about taking care of myself and making sure my husband is doing the same. I am certain we deserve it!

To Blog or Not to Blog?

2009-10-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

That is the question!

Reflections on a once in a lifetime experience

2009-07-06T16:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, I had the pleasure of observing my husband meet his biological father for the first time. He is so fortunate to have had quite a wonderful experience with this, and today I am still glowing with happiness for him.

To make a long story short (without family politics or anything too terribly personal), my husband's parents had him when his mother was just 17, and his father was 20. They were married shortly before he was born, and the marriage only lasted about 3 years. The last time Chris saw his father was when he was 5 years old. He's not exactly sure why. It's not something that was really mentioned much during his childhood. And his mother remarried soon after his last visit with his real Dad, and Chris grew up with a father figure that he has called "Dad" and step-siblings who he has always considered his real siblings. The few times I encountered Chris ask about his real Dad, it was obvious that it was still a sore subject with his mother 25-30 years later.

About four years ago, my husband received an email from a half-sister, then 16, who wanted to know who he was, and whose curiosity led her to reaching out to him. For four years, he has spoken to this sister (now 20), and eventually the younger sister (now 19), but not their father. They've exchanged pleasantries and photos of each other. About a month ago we went to a concert and the two sisters were there - Cincinnati is such a small place! This led to my husband getting up the nerve to call his Dad, only after the two sisters broke the news to their Dad for the first time that they'd been talking to their brother for nearly four years via email.

They've had several long phone conversations over the course of the last month. And they've kept it light. No long explanations, or anger or awkwardness, just a mutual agreement that they are both sad that they missed out on one another's lives.

Last night we were invited to come to their home and meet the family. Chris was a bit reluctant and scared, but i'm so proud of him for taking the step to go. It was such a great experience. There's so much to be said for Nature vs Nurture. He is so much like his dad in personality, in looks, and in mannerisms. See the photo below:

Left to right: Jes, Sara, Chris & Mike

I feel so fortunate to have witnessed this experience. The sheer joy on his father's face, and the pride in his voice that I saw as Chris told him about his childhood, his college and military days, his career and our life together are something I will never forget. And the light in Chris' eyes to hear about some of his Dad's interests that are so similar to his own - baseball, trains, bluegrass, and beer - still has me all mushed up inside in excitement for him.

I look forward to observing how their relationship grows (though I am certain it will be a cautious and slow process by my husband's wishes), and I realize that sharing this experience with my husband has further strengthened our marriage. I just cannot express the admiration I feel for him after enduring such an emotional and very scary situation and coming out with what seems to be a very good outcome for all!

A tribute to my Dad!

2009-06-22T15:50:00.000-07:00

I should have posted this yesterday. But I wanted to make a special post here about my Dad. Whom I just adore! Isn't he cute?

Keeneland, April 2009

Some qualities I inherited from my Dad:
His sense of humor
His blue eyes
His fun-loving spirit
His sense of adventure
His political and spiritual beliefs
His love of food (but obviously, not his metabolism!)
His love for my mother
His appreciation for music
His curiosity
His generosity

I am so fortunate to have this man in my life. He makes me laugh so much almost every day. Some of my best childhood memories are of times with my Dad - at ball games, camping, fishing, buying my first car, and teaching me how to drive. I'm so glad that as an adult my Dad is also my friend. He is just an amazing person. I love you, Dad!

On Second Thought...

2009-06-22T15:31:00.001-07:00

Maybe my hiatus will be short-lived here. I thought about this long and hard over the last month while my postings have been pretty light. But i'm moving forward with this blog, even though I have days and weeks when I don't feel like writing, or wonder if this blog is really serving any purpose. Today I realized it's serving a good purpose to myself for recording my life in some aspects, as well as my triumphs and my struggles.

Last week was a pretty rough one for me. The weekend turned out to be really great. I have my ups and my downs, but doesn't everybody? What has really struck a chord with me the past couple of days is that THIS TIME when I had the roughest of weeks, I didn't fall back on food. I stayed on track. I ate right. I resisted the sweets - without blinking an eye. And I plan to get back to the exercise regimen tomorrow (the virus i've had is finally clearing up enough that I feel up for a session on the elliptical, or maybe at least a long walk with the dog tomorrow morning).

I have truly made a life change for myself this time. It's been a month, and i've lost 9 pounds. Not bad, right? I have more energy than I've had in years! My summer capris that I was lamenting a month ago which didn't fit? I'm back in them again! I realize that in all my years of doing Weight Watchers, i never really gave up the things that are not good for me, I just compensated in other ways. And really, once you've given them up for a couple of weeks, the cravings aren't so bad.

So, what am I doing?

Eating Whole Grains (no white flour)
Eating LOTS of fruits and vegetables (especially green ones!)
Eating lean protein (beans and chicken are my friend!)
Drinking LOTS of water
Cut out the caffeine (yes, really - and I was a coffee and diet coke fanatic! though i do have the occasional green tea 1-2 times per week)
Cut out the sugar (i've had only 3 servings of sugary food items in 4 weeks...)
Cut out the artificial sweetener
Exercising a bunch (training with the C25K program and doing the elliptical machine so that I at least get 30 mins of cardio every day).
Taking my vitamins! I've never been very good at this before.
Taking time for myself - i've been planning less for my social life, and purposely scheduling nights to myself each week to plan meals, relax, read, and overall de-stress (if you don't recall, I am a stress eater!)

Hiatus

2009-06-17T20:18:00.001-07:00

I have decided to take an indefinite hiatus from my blog for now. Don't worry, i'll be lurking on the blogs of others for awhile. If you have good thoughts to send my way, please do so. I could use some good vibes!

I'm just busy, preoccupied and don't have the heart right now for blogging. I'll be back at some point, when I'm a better me. Promise.

A Cute Day!

2009-06-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

There's alot to be said about your general outlook on life when you take the time to plan your wardrobe for the day, fix your hair and makeup, and all around invest the time in your own appearance to feel better.

I treated myself to a couple of new tops at Old Navy yesterday. This was one of them. And I felt really cute today! I also love the shoes I wore - I haven't gotten them out of the closet in a month or two because heels don't always feel as good as flats - but they sure are cute!

Another blurry photo...sorry folks! But can you tell how much I love green?

Shoes - i love these black wedges. They go so well with almost anything, and toe cleavage is never a bad thing!

The Sugar Hangover

2009-05-31T19:27:00.000-07:00

So after a week of not eating sugar, except for in my fruit, I splurged last night on a scrumptious home made (by me) berry shortcake with homemade pound cake and whipped cream dessert. Only half of the portion I gave my friends, but still delicious, with the intent that I would not allow myself another sugary serving of something for another week.
And today I really really felt it. I was sluggish all morning. The dog woke me at 8am (i usually am up at least an hour before then), and I really couldn't feel awake at all for the next two hours. At 10:30 I dragged myself to Target and then to the gym. And running on the treadmill for 30 mins or so really helped. Chris called this my "sugar hangover" and that's absolutely what it was. I can't wait to get back into the groove of the work week and count calories and eat right. Sounds crazy, but I really am excited about this.

I had the distinct honor of hanging with Fat Bridesmaid this evening. We went for a walk, hung out at a great Northern Kentucky Bar for a cocktail (with a great view of the Cincinnati skyline), and we chatted it up for a few hours. Aside from talking about food and work and life, I told her how I really felt like I was in my groove, and this was how I was going to get to my goal of a healthier me. And I meant it.

It was the perfect lazy Sunday. Sugar hangover and all! More coming soon about healing...stay tuned...

Hooray!

2009-05-29T04:35:00.001-07:00

Although I was hoping for larger results after my hard work this week...i'm down 3 pounds. And I'll take it. Being three pounds lighter is excellent. I hope to drop another 10 in the next month so some of my summer clothes will fit that don't currently...

Week Two :: No Sugar

2009-05-25T07:05:00.001-07:00

This week at accupuncture, my Dr. took a look at my food journal and said he was very proud of my food choices, and portion sizes, and the fact that I have a lot of fruits, veggies, whole grains and nuts in my diet. He asked me to make sure I incorporated fish at least three times per week (I had it twice), but said my biggest problem area is my sugar intake. I know I am a sugar FANATIC. He asked me to work to cut it out completely. Now I realize that a little bit in moderation is okay. But I also realize i'm not so good at eating sugar in moderation.
Right now i'm on day three of no sugar. Day one went just fine. Day two was rough...to say the least. I was really grouchy and moody all day. And my poor husband can't win. He wanted to stop for soft-serve ice cream after a long drive and a picnic with the dog, and I shot him dirty looks. We passed a bakery (my husband cannot pass a mom and pop bakery without stopping in...they are so few and far between these days), and of course wanted to go in, and I told him i would be really mad if he did. HAHA. He just kept forgetting, and I was getting into a bit of a funk feeling so limited. I just counted all my calories for yesterday though and still kept at 1700 calories. The doctor asked me to stay between 1800-2000. I'd like to stay closer to or below 1500. I think I can do that for the rest of the week for sure. (last night also involved a few beers and eating out at a diner-style restaurant, where I purposely put half of my meal in a to-go container before I ate...and fed it to the dog this morning. :)

I am making strides for myself...and i'm proud of the progress so far. Today is going to be a better day than yesterday!

More Gratitude

2009-05-24T04:04:00.000-07:00

Because I feel the need, here's another list of things I am grateful for!

1. The three day weekend (three and a half days for me!). I really really needed this again, and Chris and I didn't have a whole lot planned. It's amazing how wonderful being at home and having no plans really can be!
2. A fridge packed with healthy foods, veggies and fruits. I'm so excited to cook meals at home this week and eat all these goodies. Anybody have a good suggestion for using up a load of snap peas? They came in my delivery Friday, and I have to figure out what to use them for...
3. The Sunday Times at my front door this morning.
4. A good review from the accupunture doctor. He was really proud of the food I ate this week. But he asked me to cut out refined sugar completely. I told him that was going to be hard. But I am going to do it, at least for a little while. :)
5. The amazing lunch I had yesterday with a good good friend. I am still thinking about that amazing (and healthy!) lunch. YUM YUM YUM.

Letting Go of Stress

2009-05-21T16:34:00.000-07:00

The past several weeks have helped me to realize that i need to learn to let go of some of my stress. It's certainly one of the causes of my weight struggles, and I firmly believe that it's responsible for the acid reflux I often experience, as well as some of the other health topics i've mentioned lately.

I've been trying hard to take care of myself a little better. REALLY take care of myself. I've been giving myself time to relax. Exercising because I know I need to, not skipping out because I feel like there are other things I NEED to do...like my volunteer work or cleaning my house, etc. That stuff can go by the wayside. And I realize I sound incredibly selfish, but guess what? Right now, it's all about ME!

I'm pretty proud of myself, too! I've started training for C25K, to run with Fat Bridesmaid in the late summer. Training has been going well, though I admit, I've fallen off the wagon a bit this weekend with two failed attempts to run with the dog, and he just hasn't behaved. It's back to the gym, or going it alone this weekend. Tomorrow I'm having a couple of girlfriends over after work for wine and dinner by the bite. Am I stressing about getting the house immaculate? No! I've picked up, I've dusted, I have a clean kitchen and (will have a) clean bathroom. So I didn't get to wash the windows...who cares? My office/desk still have a couple of piles of clutter that need a good hour of my attention to sort through. Whatever! I still have a pile of Garage Sale items to be sorted in the guest room...oh well. Do you think my friends are going to care? Not a lick. I am giving myself a much-needed break from it all!

Work has been okay of late. I've been letting things slide off my back a bit, and venting to my friend and co-worker Tim when I need to. I have been getting to the office on time, and not staying more than 30 minutes late. I get out every day at lunch for at least 10-15 minutes for fresh air and sunshine!

I started seeing an accupuncturist last weekend, and have an appointment with an herbalist next week. I'm making strides toward a healthier me, with a holistic approach to my own well-being. The accupuncture was interesting. I've been off caffeine for 6 days by his request (this is no easy task!), and have been monitoring my diet closely (though I know i'm going to be reprimanded for the 2 beers Sunday, 3 last night, and the wine tomorrow night!). I go to see him again this Saturday, and will see from there how often I want to committ to this treatment.

I hope I can report back a month from now and still say I'm doing this well in my own self-treatment! Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Gratitude

2009-05-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

Just for my buddy, Fat Bridesmaid, here is MY list of things I am grateful for. At the end of a bad week, it's always good to start the weekend on a positive note!

My top five:

A good thunderstorm overnight (I love being swaddled in sheets during a thunderstorm) and gorgeous sun and 70 degree weather during the day today!
My fenced in yard, which my wonderful wonderful husband and best friend built with his own two hands. I can honestly say that throwing the frisbee in the backyard with my dog, The Mighty Quinn, never gets old!
Having nothing to do tonight. It's a rare thing - the night is wide open for me to do whatever I want! YAY!
A relatively quiet day at work. I'm kicking a$$ and taking names today on my to-do list.
Flip flop weather. Need I explain it further?

Question of the day

2009-05-06T16:06:00.000-07:00

Here's an interesting situation I pose for you today about how to approach a personal matter with your superior at work.

A little backstory, however. I got the call today from the doctor's office. I will be going to see a fertility specialist soon, based on the doctor's referral and a discussion we are scheduled to have tomorrow.

I've been doing a bit of reading about infertility, and have suspected for quite a long time that my stress levels may be affecting my ability to get pregnant.

I changed jobs late last year. Unfortunately, I went from one very stressful situation to another. Granted I (only recently) maintain close to a 40 hour work week in this job, but from the time I enter the building to the time I escape it's highly stressful, with constant (proverbial) fire drills, a manager who works part time, is notorious for micromanagement, who also agrees to timelines and deadlines that are unreasonable more than I'd like to mention.

I REALLY don't want to confide in her about my fertility issues. But I also feel like I need to put it out there that I have a LEGITIMATE. MEDICAL. REASON. for needing FAR less stress in my work day, and being effective in that pursuit.

A couple of really helpful tips from one of the excerpts from a book i'm beginning to read states:

Try to reduce stress during treatment. Taking a walk, going to a movie, reducing work, and getting a massage are examples.
Be stingy with your personal time. Demands from family and friends as well as household chores can wait. Instead try to spend quality time with your partner. Share activities that in the past have been fun for the two of you.

So the question I pose to all of you -- how would you approach it?

As a side note - I resisted the urge for ice cream, and the urge to eat after I was full with dinner. These are small wins for me in a time when i'm feeling very upset and stressed. Hooray for me!

Keeping my head above water

2009-05-03T18:33:00.000-07:00

I am anticipating a very rough week this week. I know work is going to be a bear. We're hardcore trying to finish up a site that should have been done in January, and that will mostly leave me to pick up anything that is left for the week. I was so stressed out last week that it completely knocked me on my a$$ over the weekend, which resulted in me sleeping 12 hours last night and taking a 2-hour nap today. I also broke out in hives one day this week, and if the massive blotchy patches on my face and neck don't clear up soon, I'm going to have to go to the dermatologist. I have been wondering since I broke out if these were stress-related.
I'm also anticipating a call from my doctor this week. A call that is a pretty big deal to me. After over six months of fertility medications, I am expecting a call from my gynecologist to let me know that there's nothing more he can do for me, and will be referring me to a fertility specialist. I haven't talked about it much to many people, but it's just something that's bursting out of me at this point and I have to put it out there. I've been really depressed all weekend, staring at the massive bruise from the blood work that was done on Friday. I went to a wedding shower yesterday where most of the talk was about people who were pregnant, or babies. Today I was at a first communion party surrounded by babies. It's really really hard for me. I try so hard to smile and not think about it in terms of my own situation, but I haven't been very successful.
Bottom line: I don't think this medication worked (again)...just a strong hunch, and I know how upset it got me last time I heard that news. I'm trying my best to stay positive. Three of my aunts apparently had the same problems that I am having...although the medication I am taking worked for each of them - since they each have three children!
I am ready. Readier than I have ever been, to have a child. I can't stop thinking about it. I have been patient for a year now, and I am hoping and praying that we'll get to the bottom of my infertility quickly. What's really hard for me about this is being so stubborn. I am a goal-oriented person in my professional life, and I am used to working hard for something and accomplishing my goals. And this is some place where I have no control, and no matter how hard I try, what books I read, or what foods I eat, I'm not getting what I set out for. And that's one of the hardest things for me.
I am so fortunate to have a husband who is supportive, and who I know is upset about it, too, but stays strong and positive for me!
I may not address the topic again for awhile, but I'm doing my best to keep my head above water this week and moving forward.

NYC 2009

2009-04-14T20:12:00.001-07:00

The girls' trip to NYC this past weekend was a great time! I had the pleasure of playing tourguide for most of the trip. We did a LOT of sight seeing and a LOT of shopping. I tried hard not to go wild while shopping, but I got some pretty awesome stuff, including a new snazzy swatch (my third, i'm addicted), some great new shoes and new makeup at Sephora. Here are a few photographic highlights of the trip:

Amy and I at Republic, Union Square

Very cold at the Top of the Rock with Sara and Christine

The delicious (and very expensive) martini I enjoyed in a Times Square Bar (the only way I can handle Times Square is with a drink in hand!)

More from me soon...I am finally succeeding at keeping a 40 hour work week, and have big plans to make a blog return!

A Cute Day!

2009-04-13T16:51:00.001-07:00

The photo is a little blurry, but I felt really cute today, and had to share!

The shirt and pants are both from the Gap. The sweater I bought at the SoHo Old Navy over the weekend. The awesome pin is from the MoMA Store and was also bought over the weekend. The shoes I've had for a few years, bought at one of my favorite local shops.

Success!

2009-03-28T04:28:00.000-07:00

I have been planning a professional speaking event for nine months that happened this past Tuesday. This is one of the main reasons I have been so busy in the new year. I am happy to report that it was a raging success. I raised enough money to bring in five speakers (two local, three national) to speak on sustainability as it pertains to my profession, beginning the night with companies exhibiting their goods, and happy hour with free booze. Who doesn't love free stuff?

We sold out - 130 people. And to boot, the speakers that I had the privilege of entertaining while they were here were fantastic people. Staying up playing pool and having beers with one of your professional heroes - a guy that is WELL known throughout my profession - was just out of this world. I managed to make a few bucks on the event as well for the chapter. I came out of the event totally inspired to set some professional goals for myself and to reach out to a new contact about some insights and opportunities.

On the flip side, I'm feeling a little sad that it's all over. It was sort of like planning a wedding - you plan and plan and plan for nine months, all the people come out that you had hoped would be there, and then it's just over so quickly. And it's a little sad.

But I definitely think it's motivating me to take better care of myself. I really put myself and my health last over the past couple of months, and my body is really feeling the effects.

I'm up today to start the week off fresh with a trip to the public market and a little later, a trip to the gym.

I love the weekend!

Single for a weekend

2009-03-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

Chris is on furlough next week, and decided that it would be a good opportunity to go visit his Mom. I totally agreed, and secretly was excited that I wouldn't be going along this time.
He left last night, after I'd had an awful meeting with my boss - after week where my small team of four became a team of two. I really didn't want him to leave, but of course, I wasn't going to ask him to stay!

Thank goodness for a good night's rest and a little perspective.

Today has been really great. I love my husband, but had no idea how having today to myself would be such a good thing for me. I did run around with my friend Linda today for a bit, but I got a lot of cleaning done, treated myself to a trip to the Container Store (heaven!), and spent some quality time with the dog. I really think I just needed some time for ME. Not worrying about anything else, staying on my own agenda, and doing some things that were really fulfilling.

I'm sure by the end of tomorrow i'm going to be going crazy wishing Chris was coming back sooner than Wednesday, but for now, i'm soaking in the alone time. I forgot how much I always valued my alone time before I met him. I think it's SOOOOO healthy for both of us.

And I really can't wait for him to see all the work i've done around the house by the time he gets home on Wednesday. Cleaning and organizing has helped lift the funk i've been in for several weeks!

More coming soon - these have been some trying and very busy weeks for me!

A Fabulous Weekend Away

2009-02-22T15:51:00.001-08:00

I hope to post pictures soon, but Chris and I just got home from a Fabulous weekend away. Just up to Cleveland, but it was a much needed break from our normally busy lives.

We took Friday off work, and make the trip up, stopping in Old Worthington on the way to visit my friend's new wine store, and checked out a couple of other shops in that area. Then we headed up to Cleveland and checked into our room and relaxed for a bit before heading out to dinner at MY favorite Cleveland restaurant to meet old coworkers of mine. 3 hours of dinner, catching up and great conversation later, Chris and I retired to the hotel bar, for a couple of pints of Conway's Irish Ale, from our favorite brewery.

Saturday morning we headed to the West Side Market. It was fantastic. What we thought might be an hour of wandering around and grabbing breakfast, quickly turned into three hours of a fabulous brunch, and photographing and looking at all the culinary treasures. We each indulged in a sweet treat (I HEART chocolate chip cannoli!), and bought some fresh pasta, pesto and cupcakes for our friends. It was SO hard resisting so many of the other treasures there, like the fresh salsas, the vegetarian delights, the asian foods and breads. I am STILL in shock that I never managed to visit this place in the 15 months I lived in Northeast Ohio. Shame on me!

Then we headed to a hobby store, before heading out to Chardon to visit our good friends Kelly and Frank and their 4-week-old baby, Addison. Addison was just the sweetest thing and she slept on my chest for quite a long time. It was a great visit with two of our best friends and so neat to see how this baby has changed their lives and how in love they are with her! We visited with them for about 5 hours before heading back to the hotel and retiring for the night.

This morning, we got up and went for dim sum. It was fabulous. I wish we had more than just the two of us so we could have tried more than 7 of the 30+ items they offered. It's making me want to try the place near us, but i'm so afraid of being disappointed. We'll see.

Now we're home, unpacked and relaxing. And I am SOOOO not ready for tomorrow or the crazy week I KNOW I have ahead of me. Here's to a few more relaxing hours before the madness begins!

A Long Overdue Update

2009-02-15T10:08:00.000-08:00

I haven't written here in a long while. I've fallen off the wagon, unfortunately, and haven't been able to get back on just yet. I am trying every day. I just need to DO IT. That's why I've been reluctant to write. Lots of things have been holding me up. I'm taking some medication that's really screwing with me emotionally, not to mention the headaches, the nausea and just feeling down about taking this particular medication at all. I can't say i've gorged myself too much, but I haven't been making an effort to plan my meals as much, and I certainly haven't been exercising.

This weekend has gotten off to a better start. I made whole grain blueberry pancakes yesterday and froze them for breakfasts over the next several weeks. Tonight I'm making a new asian dish from my Bon Appetít magazine. I bought the stuff to make my favorite turkey chili recipe today, baby spinach salad ingredients, along with some good grab and go snacks for work like baked tostitos and salsa, and yogurt. I know if I get back on track i'm bound to pop out of this mental fog that I have been in. I have downloaded two episodes of Flight of the Conchordes for working out either later tonight or tomorrow. Menstrual cramps be damned!

*****
The guy at the gym update: Thanks to everyone who expressed their concern and advice about the situation. A few days later, i went back to the gym, and the same gentleman was sitting at the desk. As I checked in and said hello, he stood up and looked at my left hand as I scanned in. He did this very deliberately but looked right at my wedding band and said "OH, Nicole! I'm so sorry!" He then proceeded to apologize saying that he didn't realize i was married, and that he shouldn't have said what he said to me. I told him I appreciate the apology, and that I thought he was aware that I was married (afterall, I have specifically mentioned my husband to him on more than one occasion). And I haven't been back to the gym in two weeks. I'm sure he thinks i'm avoiding him. Which isn't the case (i'm just lazy and well...see above:) ), but it amuses me to think that he may be fretting it.

The Guy Who Works At the Gym Update

2009-01-20T04:16:00.000-08:00

Last night, as I was checking into the gym, "Monty" said hello to me, and asked me who I was. Completely normal. I just said "I'm fine. I'm here." Because I REALLY didn't want to be, and I literally dragged myself there, with Chris behind me cheering me out the front door at home.
I started to walk away from the desk, after I had signed in, and toward the locker rooms.
Monty starts to walk in the same direction and says, "You know I have a crush on you, Nicole."
I dismissed him and said "You're silly." I was totally shocked.
He looked at me and said "I'm being serious, don't you believe me?"
And I said "Well...um...I'm flattered, I guess?"
Then Monty said, "You GUESS? Aww man, I'm going to stop now." And walked away.

And that was the end of our conversation. And now it's TOTALLY awkward. He walked away before I could tell him that I was married, and he barely looked at me as I left (not that this is a bad thing!).

Chris really wants me to either make a point of saying something to him tonight when I go back, or calling his manager. And I'm not a big fan of confronting conflict. I told him I'd rather go check out the YMCA's gym and look into joining there. Ha.

Posting more interesting content soon...

2009-01-16T21:19:00.001-08:00

But for now...

Another 2 pound loss for the week when I stepped on the scale. I was VERY excited!

Grand total: 6 pounds lost in 2009.

A Very Quick Update

2009-01-11T18:24:00.000-08:00

I started back on Weight Watchers about 10 days ago, and weighed in Friday with a 4 pound loss that I was VERY proud of. I'm experimenting a bit with some things this time to help myself stay on track. And I'm figuring out a few things about myself:

• I do better staying on track if I don't deprive myself. I'm allocating Saturday's as "cheat" days. That basically mean's i'm working to keep my flex points for Saturdays so I can enjoy a glass of wine or two, and nibble on an appetizer before a meal out.

• I've realized what I don't like about my workout routine: weight machines. I'm okay with not doing them everytime. Right now i'm doing 45 mins on the arc trainer 4-5 times per week, and weights one day a week. I even took a Pilates class last week (which I skipped today because my back was hurting for some reason). I'm very proud of my commitment to the gym so far!

• In a little under two weeks I've already felt a difference in my jeans. And it's motivating me to keep going. I need to keep trying on clothes that were tight or couldn't wear to see how i'm progressing and really feel the difference!

The Guy Who Works At the Gym Dilemma

2009-01-05T19:23:00.000-08:00

I have been going to the same gym for almost 3 years. Not always as frequently as I need to be going, but I've been paying my dues there for that long. And through that time, there has only been one face that has remained the same: the guy who sold me my membership there the first day that I walked in. Let's call him Monty.

For almost 3 years, Monty has been on the night shift, working the desk when I walk in - anywhere between 8-9:30pm. That's my usual time for a visit (though i've had short stints of going at 6am that are always short-lived). Monty has always been extremely nice. Always happy to see me. Always fun to talk to, because he will do silly things like applaud when I come in the door for being there, even when I don't want to be. He'll praise me for the hard work when I leave, and he has always remembered my name (even if he does call me by my birth name, and not the name I actually go by!).

I hadn't been to the gym since the new job started until December 29th. It's really sad, I know. When I walked in that evening, Monty yelled out to me as I walked in the door that he was JUST thinking about me and wondering if I still belonged there. I smiled, scanned in and walked on by, a little embarrassed. As I came out of the locker room, iPod and water bottle in-hand, I asked Monty how his Christmas was. He suddenly got really sad and told me that all he wanted for Christmas was a hug and nobody got him one. This was the worst attempt at a pickup line I had ever heard, and I just giggled nervously. He then began to lay on the guilt with me about laughing at him and that he really just needed a hug. Finally, I caved and hugged the poor guy. It was harmless. It was over in 2 seconds and I was on my way.

The next day, I walked into the gym, said hello to Monty, and worked out. As I was leaving, he followed me out the door. I turned around to look at him, because it kind of startled me. And he looked at me and said "Nicole, if I could rearrange the alphabet...i'd put U and I together." And again, I just laughed nervously and kept walking. I really don't know what to do with that.

Fast forward to tonight. At this point, I've told the husband about these little incidents. And I left the house with a *slightly* jealous husband, and a conscious decision to wear my wedding rings (which i never wear to work out) to the gym, just in case the guy didn't know I am married. I walked in, and Monty stopped his conversation with another person at the desk to ask how I am, and how I liked the class I took yesterday. I told him I was very sore from it, but that it was great, and I kept moving. I hopped on the arc trainer, and about 31 minutes into my workout, Monty hops onto the machine RIGHT NEXT TO ME (with 6 other machines in the row open). I have never EVER seen this man work out while i've been there. Not in three years. He hops on with a big grin and looks over at what's on my iPod and smiles. I just ignored him. I did not take off my headphones, and I didn't really even acknowledge him. I was totally uncomfortable at this point. My 35 minutes was up, and I hopped off of the machine and into the locker room. I decided to leave because I was still very sore from yesterday, and wasn't going to do weights, and the cardio was definitely enough for my body tonight. As I walked out of the locker room, Monty is walking back to the desk. He couldn't have been on that machine for more than 5 mins (what's the point), and he's there just in time to tell me goodbye, and that he hopes to see me soon.

Now this is a bit of a dilemma for me because I don't think i'm imagining that this man is seriously flirting with me. And really, it makes me uncomfortable. I don't have it in me to say anything to the guy - unless he makes some sort of seriously inappropriate advance. And I don't plan to change my workout time. Does that mean I have to change gyms? Or do I just grin and bear it? At first it was kind of funny - I mean, it's been awhile since anyone besides my husband has flirted with me. But it's not so innocent anymore, you know? It's getting a little weird!

And I guess I just needed to vent it here! Ha! :)

2008: A Year in Review

2009-01-03T18:38:00.000-08:00

In response to Fat Bridesmaid's fun questionnaire:

Happy New Year!

Was 2008 good for you? It was a good year. There were some ups, and a lot of downs, but it doesn't do me any good to be negative about it. I learned a lot about myself. I had another year of good health and growing even closer with my husband. How is that not good, right?
What was your favorite moment of the year? I definitely have two. Sitting on a dock on Lake Ontario at dusk with Chris. It was so peaceful, and something I'll never forget. And watching the Obama win announcement with Chris, my favorite cousin and other family on election night.
What was your worst moment of the year? Probably the day I worked from 7:15am to 11:30 pm at my new job and knew I had to be up at 4:30 the next morning to drive to C-bus to catch a flight. The job is definitely getting a little better, but for awhile I was worried that I went from bad to worse.
Where were you when 2008 began? At my parents "River" home in IN, with Chris, my parents and cousins Mike and Karen. We played Tripoley and drank a LOT of wine. It was really fun.
Who were you with? See above.
Where were you when 2008 ended? With Chris across the street playing dominoes with the neighbors.
Did you keep your new years resolution of 2008? My resolution was to lose weight. I dropped 20 pounds, but gained it all back (and then some).
Do you have a new years resolution for 2009? I joined Weight Watchers again on Dec. 26th, but i'm not making it a resolution this year. I'm just focusing on making time to take care of myself - to eat right, to work out, and to find the time to do the things *I* need to do. I'm also majorly cutting my spending habits to *hopefully* pay off all of my credit card debt that's been looming, so I can focus on saving/investing for other things.
Did you fall in love in 2008? I fall in love with Chris every day. He's my best friend and I'm so thankful for him every day.
Did you make any new friends in 2008? My friend Tim at the new job. Amy at the old job (who sadly, I just met before I left). My coworker from the old job Sara and I have started hanging out almost weekly, and I'm so thankful for that.
What was your favorite month of 2008? October - A trip to Shaker Village, I had 10 days off, and we got to take a great trip to DC.
Why this month? Time with friends and family, and time to RELAX.
Did you travel outside of the US in 2008? Yes, to Niagara-on-the-Lake and Toronto. I LOVE Toronto
How many different places did you travel to in 2008? Louisville, Cleveland, DC, Toronoto , Niagara, New York, Omaha, Shaker Village
Did you miss anybody in the past year? I missed my friend Jen. I don't get to talk to her nearly as much as I used to, and the overnight with her family in DC was such a tease!
What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2008? I loved Lars and the Real Girl.
What was your favorite song from 2008? Oh gosh. ANYTHING off of that Vampire Weekend Album.
How many concerts or plays did you see in 2008? We saw Ella at Playhouse in the Park, and Wicked at the Aronoff Center. In concert I saw DMB, Tegan and Sara, Springsteen, Paul Thorn, The National, The Breeders...wow. Not nearly enough!
Did you have a favorite concert in 2008? The National/Breeders show. Which was also an Obama Rally. It was fantastic.
What was your favorite book in 2008? The Kite Runner. It was the only book I finished this year (it's been such a busy, busy year), but it was fantastic.
Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? I really let stress overtake me and lost total control of my health. I'm also ashamed of how hard I was to live with for a few months while the stress took over in my life.
What was the biggest lie you told in 2008? Any time my old co-workers told me they didn't want me to leave because of how things were going for my team and I told them not to worry.
Did you treat somebody badly in 2008? I definitely could have been nicer to my husband sometimes. Sadly, he bears the worst of my moods sometimes.
Did somebody treat you badly in 2008? It's not worth hashing out here. ;)
What was your proudest moment of 2008? The moment I felt like I was finally taking control of my finances. It sure did feel good!
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2008? It's definitely not an bad embarrassing moment - but having about 40-50 people in a room singing happy birthday to me was pretty embarrassing (but good!). I don't like that much attention, generally.
If you could go back to any moment of 2008 and change something, what would it be? I might have approached some of those job interviews differently. And I would have stopped myself when I was eating when I wasn't hungry, or even enjoying what I was eating.
Where did you work in 2008? At my old job, and now at my new one.
Favorite TV shows(s) of 2008? The Office and Sunday Morning. Grey's has started to get dumb.
Favorite Band(s) of 2008? The National, She & Him, Vampire Weekend
Favorite Food in 2008? A Green Papaya Roll!
Favorite Drink in 2008? Vitamin Water
Favorite Place in 2008? Home sweet home. But close seconds are: Park + Vine (my friend's store!), Coffee Emporium, and Green Papaya
Favorite person(s) to be with in 2008? My Husband, and surprisingly - my brother. We really worked on fixing our friendship in 2008, and I enjoyed every minute with him.
Favorite person(s) to talk to in 2008? My neighbor. She cracks me up.
Favorite trip in 2008? Toronto, for sure!
Favorite stores in 2008? Park + Vine, the Apple Store, Whole Foods, Dean's Mediterranean Imports
Hardest thing you had to go through in 2008? New job transition
Most exciting moment(s) in 2008? Buying a new car, a good client presentation in New York, and trying chicken feet for dim sum. ;)
Funniest moment(s) in 2008? The "question and answer game" with friends, the girly slumber party, dinner at GP with James and the girls.

Determined to have a good week!

2008-12-15T17:59:00.000-08:00

I'm celebrating my 30th birthday this week, and I decided over the weekend that it's going to be a VERY good week.

I'm not going to let work and car troubles bring me down. I worked a normal day today (well 9.5 hours...but much better than I have been!). I gave two very good presentations - one good thing about this new job is that i'm doing alot of presenting - something I KNOW I need practice doing.

Tomorrow night i'm going to a girly Christmas party with friends from my old job who I miss and adore.

Wednesday night, I have a meeting to discuss a conference that i'm really excited to help organize and go to.

Thursday is my birthday. My parents are taking me to a really fun new restaurant. And i've promised myself not to get hung up on what I *haven't* done by now, or the number 30. I'm sure it will feel no different than 29.

Friday, Chris is throwing a little shindig for me at one of my favorite bars, and at least 80 of my friends and family are coming. If that's not something to be excited about, i don't know what is! I also have that day off and have scheduled a cut and color with a new stylist who can hopefully mix it up a bit for me. I am excited. It's going to be a VERY good week, I tell you!

I'm trying

2008-12-10T17:20:00.000-08:00

I've been trying hard to get back here and blog. And mostly it's been neglected because I haven't had a lot of good things to say. So I guess i'm going to vent a bit here. I'm having a rough time these days dealing.

My new job has been really rough. I tried to escape a situation I felt was a dead end and I was working WAY too much, and I jumped into another situation with similar frustrations. Just different clients and (fun) coworkers.

Chris has been battling a skin infection for 4 months. No lie. It's gotten worse and doctors can't figure it out and he FINALLY got into a dermatologist last week for them to prescribe MORE cortizone creams and we wound up in the emergency room last night because he had a severe reaction to the combination of meds.

Chris' grandpa is in the hospital and not doing well. He is 96, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I got into a car accident this morning with our new car. I'm okay, except for some stiffness in my neck and back. I'm crossing my fingers that it feels better, not worse tomorrow. It was not my fault, but there were five cars involved, and the car that was at fault only has state minimum coverage - which in ohio means $7500 that has to be split between all the cars that were damaged. And I realize it could be worse, but i'm REALLY upset to have to fork over $500 for a deductible on this car that we JUST BOUGHT and the accident was NOT my fault, and we've been working REALLY HARD to get our credit card debt paid off, and that takes a big chunk out of what we can pay off this month.

Oh yeah, and through all the stresses, i've gained weight. At least 10 pounds. I have three pairs of work pants that I can't wear right now because they are so uncomfortable.

::::and i'm done::::

What a Crappy Day!

2008-11-03T17:02:00.000-08:00

Boy oh boy!

• I started my day with an 8am Dentist Appointment. Let me tell you how fun those are.
• I got into work by 9am - the latest i've ever gotten there yet, because the latest i've been there before this was 8:30 am, when i've been told we start officially at 9am. I got lectured on being "late" even though I notified my bosses about my appointment.
• My web filters at my new job now block gmail. Ugh.
• They FORGOT to transfer my email and i lost everything for the last two weeks and still have no email.
• I didn't take lunch until 3pm because of work insanity.
• Had to spend said lunch getting a new phone because last night when I dropped it in the cupholder of my car, I forgot there was a glass of iced tea there.
• I worked until 7:15pm.
• I couldn't find my car in the parking garage.
• After finally finding it i tripped and fell, skinned my knee, jammed two toes, and have some nice bruises on knees and elbow.
• I am really sore and stiff and had to call and bail on canvassing for Obama tonight - something that really really means a lot to me.
• Cried in the car on the way home talking to my Mom. Thank goodness for her. I don't know what I'd do without her!

I think i'm going to self-medicate with an Oktoberfest beer now!

Work Update!

2008-11-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

This is long overdue because...(drumroll please)...i have been working myself to the bone at my new job!

The job is going okay. I don't say that to be dramatic, because I'm postive that i'm happier there than at my last job, but it's a HUGE adjustment, and it's not exactly what I expected. My first two weeks there have exposed how HIGHLY disorganized the place is, especially as we moved from an office they've been in for six years, to an awesome new downtown office. I've really got my work cut out for me if I want to be an effective designer. I need to help them be more organized, proactive, and process-driven. I have an ally there he and I are already devising a plan of action for that. I just hope that it will be well-received by our leadership, but it seems to be one of those things we just have to DO -- ask forgiveness not permission.

Alot of this is just nerves on my behalf. I feel the need to prove to myself (mostly) that I can thrive in a creative environment that is fast-paced, and not just in-house in a corporation. I realize also that my communication style is very different than that of my new boss who I've known for a couple of years now. And I have learned the hard way over the last two weeks, that I've been empowered to make decisions and judgements without asking questions to take on a true leadership role in the team. It's scary and feels really good at the same time.

I am going to New York next week for a client meeting and will be working very hard this week to put together a STELLAR family of concepts to show at that meeting with a very exciting client. I am REALLY excited about it.

A Week in Review

2008-10-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

I've been relaxing for a week, taking some time away from most everything that is the norm for me. Chris and I left last Saturday for D.C. for four days and three nights, which were really fun-filled and just what I needed! We got to spend a little time with my favorite cousin, our friends the Fordes, and the Niño's. We explored some of D.C.'s neighborhoods, and went to two fabulous museums.

Since we've been back, I went to a very exciting rally for Obama to see the National and the Breeders (for free!). Had lunch with my Mom, and my bro's ex-girlfriend, who's leaving for Australia today to work for a year. I have relaxed a lot. I have taken mid-afternoon naps. I have read and watched 90210 reruns (hehe), and I have been to the gym three times since Thursday! Yay me!

Today, I plan to go back to the gym, do a little cleaning, and get ready to party with the girls tonight from my old job and go dancing. I'm really excited. Monday starts the new gig. I am nervous, but also excited. Wish me luck!

A word (or two) from my vacation

2008-10-12T21:57:00.000-07:00

1. I love my husband. he's such a good sport.
2. it's good to let loose.
3. i love the nino's.
4. i love spending the night at the nino's
5. i love the name 'geee mahh" from liam
6. i love the nino's

a fantastic weekend, and a week of endings

2008-10-08T19:06:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day on the job, and i have mixed emotions about it all. It's a very very good thing for sure, but I sure am going to miss alot of the people there, and it's always a little scary making big changes.

But - onto the good stuff. I had a fantastic weekend in Shaker Village. I got to see four very amazing speakers, get to know alot of really great people, and reconnect with some old friends. Shaker Village is an amazing place. I'd like to go back very soon. It's hard to capture the beauty of the place with my cheap little camera, but this photo wasn't too bad.

High Bridge, Kentucky River

It's good to be refreshed and revived. Chris and I are off to D.C. this weekend for a last-minute vacation. We'll be visiting with some friends and enjoying the museums and the city. And when we return, i'm going to work hard to kickstart my healthy habits to start my new job in a healthier routine!

Heading to Shaker Village for the Weekend...

2008-10-01T19:46:00.001-07:00

I'm going to one of the coolest Design Conferences ever - close to home in Shaker Village, KY. I even got talked into leading a session there (on sustainability, no less!). I'm really nervous about it, but I think it's going to be a blast. Anyway, as I prepare for this conference, and head out bright and early Friday morning, I leave you with this Shaker Hymn, which is fitting for the weekend, and the cleansing I need to do as I end one job, and move on to another.

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'Tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gained
To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
'Till by turning, turning we come round right.

Workout!

2008-09-25T04:24:00.001-07:00

My workout routine has been lacking (to say the least) for the past several months because of work. Today I finally got back to the gym after probably almost a month of not going. I'm saying this all too often, and wondering if I need to cancel my membership and exercise on my own because I am wasting money. I want to try to give it one more shot though.

Regardless, I got up at 5:30 this morning and trekked into the gym. 30 minutes on the arc trainer did me in though. I wasn't so out of breath, but I was tired, and really really HUNGRY. I threw in the towel there. I will walk the dog tonight for another 30 minutes, and try to build up my workout beyond that at the gym this weekend. I have no excuse for not going Saturday and Sunday. Really.

It is what it is though - I got up, when I didn't want to, and I did it. I exercised. And I'm celebrating myself for that right now. It's a small step, but a big accomplishment!

Taking my life back

2008-09-22T19:14:00.000-07:00

Today was the day that my boss told the office I was leaving. It was a bit of a wild day. A woman I work with who used to be a boss of mine pulled me in her office and started crying, and told me that I needed to help fill my position and interview candidates before I leave. Ugh.

Regardless, I was in at 8am (a tad early), took a 90 minute lunch, and left at 5pm. And I haven't been more productive in months at home! I came home, had some dinner and sent several emails i've been neglecting to send for my professional association.

Then I walked with the dog, talked with my neighbor friend, did dishes, cleaned up my kitchen, put away several items that belonged in the basement, did two loads of laundry (and folded it!), vacuumed upstairs and down, and dusted the woodwork and furniture upstairs. Tomorrow night, Chris and I are going to tackle the yard. It desperately needs to be weeded.

I'm so excited to have energy back! I feel like I have my life back. It's WONDERFUL. I really hope this continues into my new job, because I really had no idea how much the stress was taking out of me until tonight. I feel like a new person.

Now i'm going to go curl up with my husband, who just got home from a late city council meeting!

Struggling

2008-09-18T20:16:00.000-07:00

As happy as I am about my new job, and leaving the stressful situation that has been my job over the last year, i'm finding myself sad. And I can't believe it.

When I started this job almost four years ago, I was escaping a job situation where the work was not what I wanted to be doing, my supervisor wouldn't teach me anything, and I felt I was failing for it. It left me insecure, and when I moved into my current job I was terrified of failing all over again.

The funny part is I really did succeed there. I excelled at my job. I knew it, and they knew it. And now i'm leaving that job to go to another small company, much like the one I left four years ago. And i'm *terrified*. Terrified that i'll fail them, and terrified that they'll fail me. And the job i'm leaving was once my dream job - and now this new job has a lot to live up to. I know I made the right choice, but I sure hope I can move forward into this new experience with my head high and my creativity refreshed.

I've been a bundle of emotions today, as I had to tell the team that reports to me my news, and a few of my friends at work. My boss still hasn't announced it. I guess the guilt is getting to me, too. But I can't help but wish things were different, because I don't WANT to leave. I believe in what that facility is doing for pediatric health. I adore (most of) my coworkers. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the projects I get to work on, and the beyond fascinating topics I get to research and learn about. The surgeries I have watched, the patients whose lives have changed because of the work our facility does, and ultimately because of the message that I helped put out there about our services, that make people aware of all we do.

I need to stop saying "we" i guess. I just can't help wishing it had all turned out differently.

The Big Announcement!

2008-09-17T03:19:00.000-07:00

I resigned from my job yesterday.

I've accepted a position at a small (but quickly growing!) design firm as Senior Designer. I'm very excited about the offer, the position, and the location (I heart working in downtown Cincinnati!). I start October 20th.

Once I got it off my chest yesterday with my boss it felt like a year's worth of stress was lifted off of my chest. I felt a little bad for him, because I know i'm leaving him in a really tough position. But I gave him 3.5 weeks of notice, and have already started working on a transition plan.

It hasn't been formally announced yet, and i'm sure that will be another obstacle to get over, but I'm just so relieved to finally have some much-needed change in my life!

On the Horizon

2008-09-13T03:28:00.000-07:00

I have some good news on the Horizon. I will share more next week, but it's got me so excited that I could hardly sleep right now.

Such a bag of mixed emotions: i'm nervous, i'm excited, i'm sad, i'm ecstatic, i'm elated, but mostly, i'm relieved.

I'll share more soon, I promise!

A Small Victory

2008-09-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

I had a really bad day today at work. This really is becoming the norm, but I really got frustrated with more things that are not changing. Things that I don't feel comfortable discussing here, but sometimes I wish I could vent my thoughts! Regardless, I realize that the source of my food weeknesses and my laziness stem from stress on my job. Chris told me the other night that he thinks that I require quite a bit of "down time." This was just an observation, and not a judgement, but I really think that my job takes so much out of me that it's really changed me in so many different ways. I find myself mostly wanting to stay at home these days, and not be social, and that really isn't me at all.

Regardless, tonight I decided after a particularly bad day that I wasn't going to just retire to bed in front of the television so that I could do something completely mindless. I had a really really good food day today. I had yogurt, granola and blueberries for breakfast, a trader joe's meal and grapes for lunch. An apple and popcorn for an afternoon snack, and a small turkey sandwich and peas for dinner. I did really well. I didn't stress eat. I didn't overload on snacks around the office.

I knew I didn't have the energy to go to the gym, so I decided to FINALLY try the workout dvd I bought a few months ago. I started at the level one workout for 30 minutes. It was awesome. Just what I needed. I got my heart rate going, and I was sweating quite a bit. And you know what? My stress levels are way lower for it. Yay me!

This video recommends 4-5 times of doing this a week for six weeks. I'm going to do my best to keep up with this, and still incorporate a couple of trips to the gym each week. Work does not promise to get any better anytime soon, unfortunately, so the best thing I can do is help myself get my stress levels back down when I return home from work, right?!

What does everyone else do to relieve stress instead of eat or veg out in front of the TV? I could use suggestions to mix it up!

Yes, I'm one of THOSE dog owners!

2008-09-07T17:49:00.000-07:00

My dog graduated from his third round of dog training tonight. He really is a different dog than he was just three months ago! This round focused more on "canine good citizen training." Though he didn't pass the test (and we really only think that's because he LOVES the trainer that was constantly throwing him treats and he wouldn't do anything during the test except go and run to her - which was hilarious and frustrating at the same time!).

Anyway, the trainer plays the graduation song, and does the whole cap and gown thing, and of course, I had to capture that!

How cute is my dog?!

All gushy inside

2008-09-06T21:41:00.000-07:00

:)

Tonight I met up shortly with my friend Kelly. One of my oldest and still dearest friends. She was in town from Cleveland for her sister's bachelorette party, and is 6 months pregnant. I haven't seen her since she was very newly pregnant (and what's pretty funny is that I knew then that she was pregnant and she didn't know it yet!). Chris and I crashed the party for a bit to hang out with her. It was so great to see her. And she has got to be the cutest pregnant lady i've seen since the Nino's came to visit a couple of years ago! :)

It's been a great long weekend so far. Chris and I went up to Yellow Springs yesterday. We planned on hiking, but the rain kept us from that, so had lunch and then we shopped most of the day. I bought some really beautiful amber earrings and a hand-cranked flashlight/radio combo. I also bought a Christmas gift for my mother in law. Then we went to Young's Dairy for some fabulous ice cream.

For our anniversary, Chris and I went to the CAC. Then we went out to dinner at Riverside Korean. Wow, was it amazing!

Today I have been pretty worn out. I spent the morning relaxing on my front porch, enjoying the weather. I read and took a nap this afternoon, and Chris went out on a little-mini road trip while I went to church and then to the grocery store. I came home and tried out a recipe from a Rachel Ray cookbook that my Mom gave me last year for a Mexican Chorizo stoop. It wasn't bad, though I substituted the Tomatillos for tomatoes from my Mom's garden, and used chicken Chorizo from the farmer's market to lighten the recipe up. It turned out pretty well.

Tomorrow is a double baby shower for my two cousin's wives. And I'm sure I'll have to field the "when are you having a baby?" question at least a few times tomorrow, and it's very hard for me at this point not to get upset when people ask me that question and not have the urge to say "it's really none of your business!"

But I do plan to enjoy every last minute of that one last day off of work! :)

Four Years

2008-09-04T03:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not working today, yet i'm having quite a bit of trouble sleeping this morning as I unwind from all the things going on.

Chris and I took today and tomorrow off of work to celebrate our fourth anniversary, which is today.

I woke up this morning reflecting on that, of course, and marveling at the past year, which I really think may have been our hardest year yet, emotionally, on me. I have really struggled with a lot of things this year. And of course those things have affected my marriage. But I am so fortunate to be married to one of the most patient and understanding human beings I have ever met. He's just so kind and wonderful, and even when i feel i'm at my very worst, he provides me with the comfort I need, the listening I desire, and the patience to endure it all with an unwavering great attitude -- he's my biggest cheerleader.

We've had some really great times this year as well (and it's always best to end on the positive!). We shared a fantastic week-long vacation to Ontario, which is to date, one of my favorite trips we've ever taken together. It really revitalized us both in several ways. We've shared so many fun days together with family and friends, or even just movie nights at home with our dog - we both adore that family time with just the three of us!

He's my best friend, and I'm amazed that these four years have flown by so quickly! Here's to a fantastic year five!

Health Update!

2008-08-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

Warning: If you don't like reading about female cycles, please don't keep reading!

About three months ago, I calculated how long i've been regulating my menstrual cycle with birth control. It was a really long time - 6 years.

I decided to go off of the pill and instantly felt a difference in my energy levels, hunger levels, sleep patterns, etc. It was fantastic. That was in May. It's almost September now, and I haven't had a period since that point.

Last week on my other (now retired) blog, I mentioned that I had some tests done. There are a lot of factors that could weigh into all of this besides being on the pill for six months, one of them being the incredible amounts of stress i'm undergoing at work these days.

I had blood work done to check my glucose, my cholesterol, my thyroid gland and several types of hormone deficiencies. I was terrified, and I weighed in at 24 pounds more than I weighed last summer, which absolutely disgusted me. What am I doing to myself?

Well I received the test results last Tuesday, after what seemed like a lot of waiting - and everything came back completely NORMAL. I'm so relieved. I'm on some meds to get back on track with my cycle - just for 10 days though.

But i'm using this to kick myself into gear for what I need to be doing for my own self and my own health. I'm getting more rest. I'm cutting back my eating out. I'm drinking more water, and i'm generally just looking out for myself more. Now the eating and the working out has always been a struggle, but i'm working on it, and I will get there. I'm just so thankful that I have a clean bill of health. Now I just need to focus on eating right and really seriously losing weight.

And i'll admit it, I'm presenting this here for some moral support; I really can use it!

What a long crazy summer it's been!

2008-08-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

I'm back! And i'm giving this blog more attention.

It's been a crazy summer. I've been working alot, and I haven't been focusing on myself, or on my own needs and outlets. Some things I have on tap for the last few months of the year:

1. A really cool conference in Shaker Village, KY: I need this! Totally just a weekend of inspiration with other designers

2. Planning a trip for my 30th Birthday: More details on that soon, I hope. Chris and I are hoping to sit down this weekend and next and really decide where we want to go and for how long!

3. Making better health choices for myself: This includes sticking to my regular gym schedule, and not letting work interfere with that.

4. Finding work/life balance: This is going to be my biggest challenge on this list. I'm not sure how i'm going to do it, but I will!

5. Taking the time to work on remodeling my kitchen: Fingers crossed big time here. I can't wait to get that nasty wallpaper down, and possibly take advantage of the fact that my very handy brother is laid off and looking for under-the-table cash work and just things to do in general!

6. Planting a fall garden: I'm hoping to start that this weekend! I can't wait for fall veggies!

Ugh. Why am I so Cautious?

2008-05-30T20:51:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting in a hotel room in Omaha tonight after a party at 10:50pm, because I overdid it last night, and I'd like to have some party left in me tomorrow night for the closing party of the retreat i'm on.

Mind you, on this retreat i'm hanging out with some of the most forward thinking designers in the country, and shaping the future of our professional organization. It's overwhelming, exciting and intimidating along with being one of the best experiences of my career.

One of the designers and advocates for my field that I admire most is out with a HUGE group of girls seeing the Sex and the City Movie, and I stayed in to sleep.

And now I am wishing I was there with them - with HER - hanging out and laughing and crying with those four ladies I love so much.

In other news, I made a new friend -- several of them -- but one that I really hope to maintain a good frienship with and visit beyond this conference. YAY! It's a total coincidence that he and his partner own two bakeries (one specializing in cupcakes) in Pittsburgh!

On the Proverbial Edge

2008-05-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

Today I got so frustrated with someone I have repeatedly tried so hard to get along with at work that I came very close to yelling at her.

I felt it right there. It wasn't good.

I have tried in so many ways. Calls, meetings with her, meetings with my boss, emails. You name it. We have completely opposite communication styles, and I have to say that I have never EVER had this kind of a problem communicating with someone.

Even though i'm going to a very intense 3-day conference, an checking email while i'm there for work, I'm so glad to get away for a few days.

In other news, I had a very very nice weekend with my husband. In recent weekends we seemed to be arguing a lot. My thought on it all is that we really haven't had time to spend together, and we were really taking it out on one another by picking fights because we are both frustrated.

We got to sit down this weekend and really talk about focusing on our goals together. Not my goals for my career, and his goals for finishing school and focusing on a career, but our goals together. It was really really good. It's funny how a nice weekend together and a bit of communication can spark the fire all over again! I never said marriage was easy - it's a lot of work.

It's definitely worth it. Chris is definitely worth it.

The Fire

2008-05-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

On Sunday afternoon, after a very productive morning, I was lounging on my front porch talking to my Mom, when my sister in law buzzed in on the other line. I switched over to see what she needed (she doesn't call just to gab), and she told me that her Grandparents' house was on fire.

YIKES!

Chris immediately got his shoes on, we packed some sandwiches, water and lawn chairs, and he headed to his grandparents' house. I arrived later with our second car. I can't go too much into it, or my blood pressure will start rising again. But it's absolutely heartbreaking. His grandmother has lived in that house for 68 years. She raised two children in that house. His grandfather has lived there for almost 40 years since they got married when Chris' Dad was a teenager. They've invested their lives in this house.

Chris took some photos of the outside, but it's the images in my head of the inside that are haunting me. I wasn't allowed to go to the second floor without a fireman, so I stayed downstairs.

The photos are here, if you'd like to view them. They lost everything on the second and third floors, which is primarily where his grandparents' live. Chris' stepbrother, niece and nephew live on the first floor. They suffered a lot of water damage and smoke damage, but many of their things will be salvaged.

Derby Day!

2008-05-03T21:38:00.000-07:00

People in Kentucky take the Kentucky Derby VERY seriously. That's why celebrating with Jenni and Aaron Huff is such a delight!

Bourbon balls (0r cubes), mint juleps, cornhole, jello shots, KFC (YUM! brands), a visit from the cops, and White Castles at the end of the night.

And a "doing dinner soon is NOT an option, it's a must, by one councilman, Mr. Huff made it SUCH a fun night!

And yes, it's 12:40, and i'm going to bed. But 8 hours of drinking is pretty good for me these days!

Brother Update

2008-05-01T08:53:00.000-07:00

My brother took off for SanDiego on a total whim on Tuesday. My parents came home to a note from him - he hadn't even called work. And he hadn't shown up in two days. He hadn't locked up his house, he had windows open and expensive tools in the bed of his truck.

He's clearly very upset and beside himself. I'm so worried about him!

Ugh! Dandelions!

2008-04-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

I'm entirely too lazy to take any photos of what I just did, but I filled my small garden trash bin with dandelions I just dug up out of my yard. It's so exhausting!

On top of it, I just took the dog out and spied a few more that I missed. I can't decide if I should go out after more of them, or give it a rest. Chris REALLY needs to cut the grass (and I sure hope he'll be home tomorrow night to do it - in my own defense, the self-propeller is broken on our lawn mower, and I can't get it up our front yard hill, or i'd totally be out there cutting it myself, because Chris is allergic to grass and he's miserable when he cuts it!). Maybe i'll aim to go back out there Thursday night.

I LOVE gardening season, but I sure hate the weeds!

A little too wrapped up in myself

2008-04-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently, with all that's been going on in my life, I haven't stopped to call my little brother.

And he and his girlfriend of nearly six years broke up a couple of weeks ago. I found out yesterday when I went to my parents' house to pick them up to make a drive to Dayton to see my new cousin. My brother had shown up there really really broken up about the situation, and that's when my Mom told me they had broken up almost two weeks ago. Boy do I feel like an asshole.

Tara moved all of her stuff out of Brian's house yesterday with the help of her parents. It's not looking good for them getting back together. I'm really hurting for my brother, and for my whole family, because she really was part of the family.

Chris and I were thinking about it last night: She was at our engagement party, at all of our wedding festivities. Helped us to plan my parents' 25th anniversary party, and both of their 50th birthday parties. She celebrated my college graduation, and my brother's trade school graduation with us. She's become part of our Christmas traditions, and my grandmother even gave her a piece of family jewelery.

The thing is, I know it's what's best for her right now. My brother and I are not very close, and in fact, we couldn't two more different people. He's a typical 25 year old male. He drinks too much, he parties too much, he's promised to quit smoking and never has, and many of his friends are inconsiderate jerks who show up unannounced and will never grow up. I wouldn't want a life like that either.

It really comes down to feeling like Brian and Tara are getting a divorce. I really do hope they get back together...only time will tell!

Stolen from Huff's Myspace

2008-03-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be!!

1. Who was your best friend? Chelsea, Julia, Jason, Julie (I had lots of them, okay)
2.What sports did you play? Softball - but not FOR my high school
3. What kind of car did you drive? 86 Buick Regal. That car was the shit!
4. It's Friday night...where r U? either working, or hanging out with my high school boyfriend, Jeff
5. Were you a party animal? not really
6. Were you considered a flirt? I was actually pretty shy
7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir..? nope
8. Did you ever get suspended/expelled? I never had a single detention in my life!
9. Can you sing the school song? They taught it to us for graduation finally. Do you really think I remember a song I sang once or twice?
10. Who were your favorite teachers? Hmmm..Mrs. Kramig, Mrs. Wessels (Art!), Mrs Yeazell (English!)
11. Where did you sit during lunch? I worked the room. I had study hall during lunch, too. So I just wandered around for an hour and a half lunch break!
12. What was your school's full name? McAuley High School
13. School mascot? Mohawks
14. Did you go to Prom ? Yep. Stag. Long story.
15. If you could go back and do it again, what would you change? I'd probably be more confident if I knew then what I know now. I'd get more involved in things like Drama and clubs. And I might have worked a little harder.
16. What do you remember most about graduation? Ha. A bunch of girls in my class got caught smoking up on a class field trip in the last week of school. They weren't allowed to walk and quite a few of my classmates tried to protest.
17. Where did you go senior skip day? We didn't have Senior Skip Day. We had our walk the morning of prom, which traditionally people skipped out on. But if you didn't show up to school that day, they threatened not to let you into the prom that year. So I sat in study hall instead of walking. It was my own little protest
18. What clubs were you in? Art Club
19. Where did you go most often for lunch? we weren't allowed to go anywhere but the lunchroom
20. Have you gained weight since then? Um. Who hasn't?
21. Who was your Senior prom date? Myself. My date fell through at the last minute. He was my boyfriend. He was a jerk, too!
22. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion? I skipped it.
23 .Who will repost this? who knows
24. Who was your high school sweetheart? Jeff
25. Are you still together? HELL NO! :)

Some of my favorite pics from the weekend!

2008-02-25T18:29:00.000-08:00

I only took a few, but thought I'd share!

The Tornado that Hit My House (Inside Only!)

2008-02-21T12:19:00.000-08:00

Chris and I are both finally starting to feel better from the flu that hit our house (or as I've been calling it, the plague!).

Our house looks like a tornado hit it. No lie. Last night I was frantically putting away bottles and bottles of medications, picking up used tissues that didn't quite make it to the trash can, spraying and wiping surfaces with santizing spray. And the list goes on.

We have guests coming tomorrow. I'm so excited. And so nervous to get all those germs cleaned up for little hands that might be touching and exploring things in our house.

Tonight on the list: Clean the Kitchen (that's my job), Scour the bathroom (that's Chris' job)
Strip the guest bed and replace with clean sheets and comforter
Move my vanity and chair fromt he guest room to the master bedroom, and pick up the neighbor's pack n' play.

Tomorrow: Go to Findlay Market
Dust Vacuum and straighten everything in sight.
Babyproof!
Relax and have fun.

It's going to be a fun weekend!

Another Update on the Danish Neighbor

2008-02-11T07:04:00.001-08:00

So apparently it wasn't my note that made him rent space for his cars.

He got a $500 fine from the city for parking his cars in his yard. This news made me smile so wide it felt wrong. Serves the jerk right!

The Danish Neighbor

2008-02-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

An update on the annoying Danish neighbor next door!

A few weeks ago, i got completely fed up with him. I know I've mentioned him here and there on my blog. Some good instances, and some bad. I guess a little backstory is in order:

In July of 2006, Michael moved in with his girlfriend, Yolanda. Yolanda was at least 15 years his senior, but a very sweet Mexican lady with grown children in Texas. She made the most amazing homemade tortillas, beans, rice and any other kind of mexican delight you can think of. And she was always sharing it. Michael went back to Denmark for a couple of weeks in August to get some things worked out with his Visa, and Yolanda was all alone in a strange city with no job, and knowing nobody. The neighborhood really took her in. She instantly became family to alot of us.

Michael's trip of a couple of weeks turned into a couple of months. He returned on Halloween. By the first week of November, things had gotten bad next door, and Yolanda had left. Another neighbor confirmed that he had seen Michael smacking her around on the front porch and dragging her in the house, and she had seen the bruises, too.

Since then i've been pretty leerie of the next door neighbor. He's had a slew of girlfriends, all much older than him (he's about 35), and many with small children. And often, one girl will leave, and the next girl will show up an hour or so later. It's really quite disgusting.

All through the shenanigans of his crazy love life, Michael's biggest hobby/pain for us has been his collection of cars. He buys broken down cars, fixes them up, and ships them to Denmark to resell. He's a mechanical engineer, so he has loads of tools and knowledge to do so. However, having 7-8 cars at a time, he has very little space to put them. So he has been parking them in his yard for the last several months - front and back yard. On top of it all, he changes the oil and dumps the motor oil in the grass and makes MY yard stink for days, not to mention what a sore sight it has become!

Right after Christmas he pulled his truck (one of them) into his driveway, but was parked on the median between our driveways. A median with grass that is my property. He has since rutted the thing so badly that the grass won't be coming back on its own, and we have a nice lawn job on the yard we work SO hard to care for. So i wrote him a letter. I was afraid to confront him, because I really don't trust the guy.

I found out yesterday from another neighbor when discussing it that Michael has rented a garage space to store his cars. As of this morning, there were only TWO cars, and they were in the driveway.

I may sound like an uber bitch, but I feel like i've won a major battle with this guy. At the very least, I won't need to feel so embarrassed to have people over to my house!

GAAHHHH

2008-01-23T07:33:00.000-08:00

I really need to get my head back on straight. Seriously. I feel like I need a week break from work to reassess some of my own goals, both personally and professionally. The events of last week (boy it was a bad one, i won't even go into it) really are hitting me hard and I'm just exhausted.

I really can't afford to take more time off of work with all that's going on, but i'm really not motivated to start tackling it all. Alot if it's very exciting, and I have a good opportunity to make some impact with my colleague.

Anyone have any suggestions for renewing of the spirit?

At LOOOOOONG Last!

2008-01-10T14:58:00.001-08:00

I got promoted today!

A New Blog

2008-01-07T06:57:00.001-08:00

This was in no way a resolution, but just a necessary part of what I want to accomplish this year.

I've started a weight loss blog to help me track my own journey, and a way to solicit some encouragement as well, i guess!

Check in if you're interested, here.

I can't wait to look back a few months from now and read my own journey.

A Happy New Year?

2008-01-05T15:41:00.000-08:00

2008 has not been off to a good start in our house. It's really quite frustrating. I won't go into it, but we took this weekend to just relax and slow down. So far, so good.

I took this coming Friday off to invest in myself. I need it. And i'm spending tomorrow preparing for that. Elusive? Yes. But hopefully, there will be good things to share soon!

A PERFECT Day!

2007-12-18T20:40:00.000-08:00

Chris and I took the day off today. It was an awesome day. He took me to my favorite breakfast spot, and then my favorite coffee shop to stock up on beans.

After we got cleaned up at home, I went with him to get a haircut, and we bummed around a few shops, my favorite being the best record shop in the world! I used a gift certificate that my parents' gave me to buy some much-needed new music.

We had dinner with our neighbors at a new Korean place that was JUST fabulous. I can't say enough about how delicious it was! I only wish it was a little bit cheaper, so we could justify going there a LOT more.

Afterwards we went driving around to see some very unique Christmas light displays. And back home for a nightcap. All in all, a wonderful day. I hope it's an indication of a VERY good 30th year of my life! It sure has started out right.

A Few Updates

2007-12-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

1. I definitely took the cake on the "asshole of the year" award this afternoon at my work holiday party.

2. I'm officially done with my Christmas shopping tonight -with the exception of needing to get a check to my Aunt soon. I'll have it all wrapped and under the tree by tomorrow! Hooray for me!

3. I'm a bad mom. My dog has another ear infection, so I need to go blow $80 or so at the vet tomorrow to get him the meds he needs. And it's my responsibility to keep his ears clean so this doesn't happen.

4. Work has been taking over my life. I actually FORGOT to pay last month's gas an electric bill. It just completely slipped my mind, and I can only chalk it up to my mind being constantly occupied by work.

5. Chris has been sick with a tooth infection and two sinus infections collectively for 6 weeks. If he doesn't call the doctor tomorrow, I might just strangle him!

6. I miss my friends. Online and off. I've been selfish and preoccupied, and I'm sorry. I want my life and my friends back!

The Times, They're a' Changin'

2007-11-09T11:48:00.000-08:00

The job I have now - the supposed 'dream job' - the job I adore so much, and the team I feel so connected to has been disrupted.

I'm trying not to be so dramatic about it all, but it's really affecting me in more ways than I realized it would.

I've had a week off to process some of it, and I'm dreading going back to work on Monday. My last four days with the boss I adore. My first day, Friday, with a new interim boss who I feel I need to prove myself to all over again.

Change is good, and I know it's a sign for me to start assessing my career goals and figuring out how I can take some opportunity from this change.

Regardless, if I seem to be a little elusive over the holiday season, it's because i've got a few things on my plate right now!

Going South

2007-11-06T16:11:00.000-08:00

We have returned from our trip to Nashville. A day early, mind you, because the Smashing Pumpkins show was postponed (and i'm still keeping my fingers crossed that I can unload my tickets and not lose the $100+ on them).

We had a fabulous time. Nashville wasn't what I expected, but I was pleasantly suprised at how laid back the city is, how nice the people there are, and the general quirks when discovering a new place.

We packed a lot into a two-night trip. We saw alot of the touristy stuff, but it's what we wanted to do. We visited the home of Andrew Jackson, and took a tour of the Ryman. We did a little shopping, and a lot of eating and drinking. I'm still dreaming about the Sweet Potato Pancakes I had for breakfast yesterday- WOW! We got to visit with Sarah, and hear all about her trip to South Africa, which was awesome!

We opted to leave on Monday because the show had been canceled, and left things open-ended with the thought that we might stay in Louisville on our way back, depending on how things went. We stopped for the Maker's Mark Distillery tour in Loretto, KY. My husband was in heaven! Then we made our way to have dinner with my friend Scott, and his sister, Amy at Lynn's Paradise cafe in Louisville. We then opted just to make the trip home and save our money and just relax here today.

Here are some photo highlights of our trip:

My favorite stop on Broadway: Hatch Show Print!

The Glorious Ryman Auditorium!

Dinner with one amazing lady!

I think this shot pretty accurately captures how excited Chris was about our Maker's Mark tour! This is a giant vat of bourbon behind him, about two days into the 6+ year process.

Putting My Money Where My Mouth Is

2007-10-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

I've taken on a new responsibility outside of work. As a board member for this organization it is my job to raise awareness about environmental issues as they pertain to my profession as well as the world we live in.

Last night I had the wild realization that I need to make some more changes in my own daily life to truly perform this role at my best. Cincinnati is a huge commuter city. In a survey released by Forbes, I found out that Cincinnati is the sixth most expensive commuter city in the nation.

I'm going to go outside of my comfort zone tomorrow and ride the bus to work. This is a big deal in this city because my commute is short (5 miles), and I have free parking at my office. So i'll walk a few blocks to the bus stop from home, and a few blocks from the bus stop into my office. It will make my day a little longer, but it will be an interesting experiment. Like a wise philosopher once said "it's not easy being green."

I'd like to keep the momentum and do this at least twice a week on my way into work. I often have activities planned for after work that will last beyond the bus schedule. But reducing my carbon emissions by 40% every week is a big deal, I think.

We'll see.

Venting/Things that Annoy Me

2007-10-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

1. Eating so fast you feel sick
2. People who chew gum in an office setting and pop in CONSTANTLY. And by constantly, I mean for the entire day. Several times a minute.
3. That today isn't Friday already.
4. That I'm all worried about saving money for our trip, but I went ahead and bought a new pair of shoes at lunch.
5. People who crack their gum - have I mentioned that? It's happened 4 times - nope, 5 times since I began writing this post. Oops. 6 times now.

Communication Is the Only Way

2007-10-16T07:27:00.000-07:00

Oofda!

Sometimes all the frustration, the anger, the excitment and anticipation of life all builds up and you don't even realize what it's doing to you as a person. It affects your most important relationships, your sleep, and your ability to relax.

A good talk (or debate as it may be) really goes a long way. Lots of tears and lots of hugs.

It's just what I needed. I think it's what my marriage needed, too. I just adore my husband.

In My Best Munchkin Voice..

2007-10-04T10:29:00.001-07:00

DING DONG! THE WITCH IS DEAD! Which old witch? The WICKED witch!

Got some very good news at work today. I can't divulge in this public form, but just ask me - I am happy to share!

Realizing Something In Me Has Changed...

2007-10-03T06:17:00.000-07:00

This morning while walking the dog, we had a confrontation with two dogs who were off the leash followed behind by a very hostile dog owner.

To back up just a bit, we are in our third week of a leash aggression class with our dog, who has developed some issues in the past year with other dogs approaching him closely while on the leash. And it's only on the leash. We've been spending family time together every morning for 30 minutes, walking with Quinn and working on some of the exercises we've been given.

This morning as we were walking Quinn, it was still dark. A black lab who looked very much like Lucy, our neighbor's dog, approached us off the leash. There was no human in sight. Quinn got excited, but he hadn't shown signs of full aggression yet. I asked Chris to check the dog's tag to make sure it wasn't Lucy. Just then a setter came out of no where and ran up right into Quinn's face, and at this point he got defensive and lost it. Barking uncontrollably. I handed the leash to Chris and proceeded to try to command the other dogs to "go" and pointed away from my dog. In any direction we moved, these dogs would follow, and they were starting to fight back.

As this was going on the owner of the dog came following behind, out of the darkness. He began yelling at me. Insulting me. Being an all around jackass. Telling me that the dogs were feeding off of my energy and I needed to be calm and leave his dogs alone.

Well a few months ago, I probably would have slunk back, like always and went on my way. Today, something snapped in me. I fought back. I told him not to speak to me in the way he was. I told him that I had no control over my dog when his dogs were not leashed and I could not get away from them. I pointed out that he was a good 30 feet behind his dogs and in no position to control the situation.

Maybe it doesn't sound like much, but it was a good victory for me, personally. A little part of me wished that Chris would have spoken up, but I know he was trying to get Quinn under control, and I probably needed to speak for myself, alone. Interestingly, he almost had the dog calmed before the jackass guy started yelling at me.

I was pretty proud of myself for standing my ground today. I felt strong and proud.

TRUTHS

2007-09-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

Foolishness is surely clarified with a good bottle of wine.

Life is tough.

Live hard. Love to the fullest.

That is all.

Confessions of an Insomniac

2007-09-21T02:34:00.000-07:00

Work right now is absolute hell. I am NOT sleeping. I'm extremely burnt out. I'm dreading a drive to Evansville, IN on Monday - mostly because i'll be all alone, for a round trip in one day - for a quick photo shoot for work. 8 hours in the car (collectively) is not appealing.

You'd think that being an insomniac, i might go to the gym to work out, but honestly, my energy levels are so low, that i'm afraid to over exert myself.

The good news is that I think i've eaten well this week. I've made the effort to plan my meals (with the exception of ordering in a Chicken Gyro yesterday - YUM - but I ordered a greek salad with light feta instead of fries, and the chicken was all white meat). I haven't snacked at all, which is really good, so hopefully I can get back on track with my diet - because any new clothes I bought a couple months ago from losing 20 pounds are starting to get snug, and I can't stand it. I absolutely hate that i'm a stress eater.

Funny thing to me is that I hate exercising and i'm longing for an hour at the gym. Hopefully Sunday! Maybe even Monday before I hit the road!

I'll post more often once work settles down. And god, it HAS to soon!

I have a problem with saying "No"

2007-09-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

I've been spreading myself too thin these days. Work is beyond busy, and I've been attending several photo shoots this week (and will be for the next few weeks). They sound like great fun, but they are some of the most exhausting parts of my job.

I am helping to organize a mentoring program for design students.

My house is a mess.

I'm helping plan my 10 year high-school reunion.

I'm also helping to organize and design our "Family Cookbook" that was the great idea of some of my aunts.

I'm helping Chris update his resume to look for some job opps.

And my in-laws will be in town this weekend, to boot.

Somebody shoot me. PLEASE.

Three Years

2007-09-04T06:17:00.000-07:00

Three years ago today, I married my best friend, the love of my life. ]

Year three has been our hardest yet. We've both had very stressful times at work. We've done some big house projects. We've been through a very tough family crisis and the death of a loved one.

But we got through it with grace and I think we're stronger for it.

We've laughed and we've cried, and we've managed to let loose every chance we get.

Thank you, Chris, for another wonderful year of marriage! You are the most caring and giving person I could have ever asked for.

On Being Emotional

2007-08-07T09:18:00.000-07:00

Last night was a rough one for me. Today's a little better, but I still just have this sinking heavy-heart feeling in my gut today.

I'm really stressed about a printing error at work. I'll know more early next week, but I may just have to take full responsibility for it and that sucks. Even though we caught it early enough that it will only cost $1400 to correct, I just hate admitting I screwed up at work.

My uncle had to put his dog to sleep this weekend - Porter. I've spent a lot of time with Porter over the years, watching him when they were out of town. Porter was the best damn dog i've ever come across. When I got that email last night I cried and I cried and I cried.

My mom had a spinal epidural this morning. It's kind of a last-ditch effort at relieving her arthritis pain. I pray that it works. It's so hard to watch her getting older and dealing with constant pain.

I think my new birth control is causing my depression. I'm on my 3rd month of it. If by next month my hormones aren't in check, i'll have to switch back or just ditch it all together. I'm really tired of pumping myself full of hormones. I have plenty to go around.

I feel the need for some sort of vision quest. Some time alone to reassess my personal goals and find myself a little. I just don't know the best way to do that.

+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
On a lighter note: Chris and I went canoeing with our neighbors this weekend and totally had a blast. I already want to go again. My shoulders ached for two days afterwards, but it was worth it! 10 miles on the whitewater was so much fun once we got the hang of it all over again!

Gifts

2007-07-30T12:07:00.000-07:00

I'm in a bit of a bind this year, thinking of a meaningful gift for Chris for our third wedding anniversary. Traditionally, the third anniversary warrants a gift of crystal or leather. Sounds boring to me.

I want to give Chris something meaningful. And this doesn't mean I have to spend a lot of money, but I really just can't figure out what to give him. I usually don't have this problem. I pride myself in thoughtful gifts - especially for my husband. I still have a little over a month to figure this out though.

Ugh.

2007-07-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

Well the attempt to diet has not gone well. I'm such a stress eater. I've made a concerted effort every day to bring things to work that are good healthy snacks, and I've done really well all day long. But when I get home, i'm so beat from working, and just emotionally drained. I just eat whatever I can find. And I skip out on exercise. Chris rented Season 1 of Grey's Anatomy for me at the Library last night, and I watched two episodes instead of going to the gym, like i'd planned.

I just don't know how to stop this cycle. The stressful work atmosphere is not going to stop anytime soon.

In other news, we are planning a November trip to Nashville to see the Smashing Pumpkins. I can't wait! Chris, of course, is very happy because he loves the Pumpkins, but this will also require a drive that is almost entirely driving through Kentucky.

He is also strongly considering contacting his biological father. He's been in contact often through email with an 18-year old half-sister that he's only known about for a little under 2 years. It will be interesting, if nothing else.

The Violent Femmes Bring ALL Their Equipment on the Bus.

2007-07-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

Chris and I went to see the Violent Femmes last night. This was the third time i've tried to see them, but only the first time it's panned out. They absolutely ROCKED. It was so fun. We got poured on, too, and it made them rock even harder. I heart the Violent Femmes.

Drinking with the Danish

2007-07-05T11:14:00.000-07:00

A note to self: trying to keep up with your Danish neighbor in the area of drinking is something to avoid. Once the neck of our beers were gone, he'd order another round. But - drinking on a Tuesday night sure is fun!

A Photo from Girls' Night Out

2007-06-28T05:43:00.001-07:00

This photo says a lot about how much fun we were having last night, even though Chrissy looks quite disgusted about the outspoken hillbilly guy who is touching us all.

On the DubDub Again

2007-06-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day I get serious about staying on the Weight Watchers plan again. It's going to be a rough week to start, but if I don't stop making excuses, I will gain back the 20 pounds i've already lost. And I know i've gained a few of those back already.

Chris and I are participating in the Relay for Life on Friday and Saturday. From what I hear, there's just TONS and TONS of junkfood around. People sell it the whole night trying to raise more money for their teams. I need a game plan for myself. Veggies and lowfat ranch dip. Pretzels. Suggestions are welcome for what I can pack in a cooler for an overnight event to avoid sweets, hot dogs, and candy. I could use the encouragement!

Saturday night Chris and I are going to a cooking class for a beer tasting meal. I bought this for him for his birthday back in April. I am hoping to skip lunch that day, which is feasible since I will be more than likely sleeping for lack of sleep from Relay.

I need to get back to the gym as well. I am embarrassed to admit that I have not been there in a month. I keep justifying it because I am walking the dog every morning, and we've been doing physical work on the house almost nightly. Gardening, painting, cleaning out the junky basement. The gym time MUST resume though. I think Wednesday night will begin that.

I have decided that I need to set some goals for myself though, and reward myself for weight loss.

Here's the tentative reward list (this will begin from my weigh in on Friday):
10 pounds - pedicure
20 pounds - new outfit (including shoes!)
30 pounds - I haven't decided yet.

Wish me luck! Food journaling has resumed.

Back to Nature

2007-06-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

Chris and I spent our weekend camping. I wish i'd remembered to bring the camera, though we weren't pretty sights to see. We had a blast though. I'm still tired today. Camping sure is fun, but it's not easy to sleep. Chris and I made a good team though, and we both enjoyed some things we love, while outdoors. It's a good reminder of how little we all really NEED in order to live. Next time, I need to offer to bring the plates and cups, etc. My neighbor brought all styrofoam, and INSISTED on burning it all after it was used. It made me feel really really guilty. We had a car jam packed with stuff, as as well as the dog, or I would have INSISTED on taking trash home with me.
All in all though - fun times! We're hoping to do it again in the fall!

Eco General Store

2007-06-01T10:04:00.000-07:00

My friend Kate and I checked out Park + Vine today - a new "Eco General Store" in Cincinnati that has its grand opening this weekend, starting today. We were both so excited to go to the opening and it didn't disappoint! They had a great range of products, and I bought several things - including a soy-based toilet scrub, a new toothbrush with changable heads, biodegradable kitchen waste bags and sandwich bags, and a cool greeting card made from an old John Mellencamp album cover!
We were both impressed that even though we drove down there from our office together, we dropped a quarter into a bin to offset our carbon emissions for the trip there!

My Own Personal Hell

2007-05-24T20:48:00.000-07:00

Our bathroom renovation project hasn't gone exactly the way we'd hoped. It's looking like we're going to need to hire professional help for the walls, after my dad arrived tonight to do the electric work, installing boxes for our new lighting, and removing the old. Take a look. And shoot me now. I have been SO anxious just to have this project done, and it looks like it's going to be grossly extended!

States I've Visited.

2007-05-15T04:34:00.000-07:00

Kinda sad. I need to do some more traveling, eh? Only 49%

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

A Pleasant Surprise

2007-05-10T19:15:00.000-07:00

Last spring, I planted Peonies. This year they've gotten little buds on them. One was much deeper pink than the others, and today, that bud was all opened up in my garden. Beautiful, isn't it? I'm so excited!
I think the other two plants are going to have the traditional multi-petaled pale pink blooms, but I do think this one is striking. I can't wait to see it next year when the plant is full size and has multiple blooms!

The Greening of Mayhem Continues

2007-05-09T13:51:00.000-07:00

Our next attempt at greening!

Hardwood Charcoal. I read an interesting article this past week on grilling - the green way. Chris and I have both a charcoal grill (because i'm a purist), and a gas grill that we bought second hand (because gas grills are quick and easy - and we often need a second grill when we have a party). My favorite cousin and her husband were in town this week, and stopped by the other night. I was discussing this Hardwood Charcoal i've read about with them. When I went home at lunch today, there was a bag of it on my front porch that they got for me at Trader Joe's.

It put a smile on my face, and it makes me smile just thinking about it. I'm excited to try it out. I'm quite a grilling enthusiast, so i'll keep everyone posted!

Spring has Sprung!

2007-05-02T09:42:00.000-07:00

Springtime is my favorite time of year, now that I am a homeowner. Aside from both of us having allergies, it's just wonderful to spend so much time outside enjoying beautiful weather, sleeping with the windows open, and enjoying our neighbors.

We did a full day of yard work last weekend, and it was so rewarding. I added a SECOND compost bin in the yard, so Chris removed a Honeysuckle tree (I hate those things!) to open up a space near the fenceline, and we're now planning to remove them all, and plant evergreens in their place. My compost project is going well. I had actual FINISHED COMPOST at the bottom of my pile on Sunday when I was turning it. I was giddy with excitement.

We also had a nice evening last night. My neighbor is from Denmark and invited us over to come and meet his mother and uncle who arrived on Monday for a visit. It was such a pleasant evening. I always love to hear the observations of someone who is visiting our country for the first time, and recommending things for them to do.

This weekend we'll be hitting up the farmer's plants at the market for some annuals. I love having flowers around! I know, I know. My content here is really getting boring. It's so interesting to me to observe my OWN transformations these days.

New York Photos

2007-04-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

Check it out!